Positive Psychology Lectures 1-4

Elizabeth Randall

August 11, 2014

The Happiness Project

HW #1: Reaction Paper

Dr. Tal: Lectures 1-4

      In Dr. Tal’s 2^nd class lecture (which was my favorite), he talks about his role model Marva Collins (who’s the reason he decided to become a teacher). He talks about her method of teaching and how she encourages her students through individuality and constructive techniques to help build their self-esteem and self-confidence. She says to her students on their first day of class as well as continuously “We are going to do a lot of believing in ourselves.” By focusing on her student’s individual strengths and having high realistic expectations, Collins is in fact cultivating resilience and success within her students.

This really spoke to me because just like those students many considered me to be “unteachable” which at a young age could really affect a person’s self-esteem. But looking back and remembering the times I did thrive, most of it was because I had a teacher who took the time to brake down the material in a way I could understand. So it means a lot to have that support and encouragement, because its very important to have people around to believe in you the way you want to believe in yourself. The punishment Collins gives her students to do when they misbehave, of writing adjectives from a to z that describe themselves and why they are too wonderful to be misbehaving, is an awesome exercise that I wish I had done when I was younger. But its never too late so hears mine… lol!

I am amazingly awesome. I am beautifully brilliant. I am courageously caring. I am diligently doting. I am effectively efficient. I am fantastically fabulous. I am greatly generous. I am happily hopeful. I am incredibly interesting. I am joyfully jolly. I am kiss-ably kooky. I am lovably loyal. I am magically marvelous. I am notably nurturing. I am oddly outgoing. I am peacefully patient. I am quaintly quirky. I am refreshingly remarkable. I am simply supportive. I am thankfully talented. I am ultra understanding. I am very valuable. I am wonderfully wise. I am x-tremely xenodochial (had to look up this word- means hospitable or kindly to strangers). I am youthfully yellow. I am zealously zany.

在Dr. Tal的第二堂課 (我最喜歡的) ，他談到他的榜樣Marva Collins (令他決定要做教師的原因) 。他談到她的教學方法，以及她如何鼓勵她的學生，用個別式並積極幫助建立學生們的自尊心和自信心。第一天上課她就對學生不斷強調「我們要做很多相信自己的事」。從專注於學生的個人優點，並提升他們合乎現實的期望，Collins其實是培養她的學生應變能力和成功。

這的確像在說我，因為我就像那些很多人認為是「不可教」的學生，這對年輕人真的會影響到自尊心。但現在回味和回憶我挺棒的時候，大部分是因為我有一個老師，花時間用分析材料的方式讓我可以理解。這意味著很多的支持和鼓勵，這很重要因為讓周遭的人相信你，相信你要用自己的方式。Collins給她不乖的學生處罰時，是寫從A到Z的形容詞來描述自己，為何他們因為太棒所以不乖，真棒的訓練這是我小時候很希望碰上的，但也永遠不會太晚所以可有聽見我在大笑...

      我驚人超棒。我美麗絢爛。我勇敢關懷。我努力受寵。我切實有效。我是極其美妙。我異常慷慨。我快樂樂觀。我萬分有趣。我高興愉快。我幹練古怪。我可愛忠誠。我神奇絕妙。我顯著培育。我古怪外向。我沉靜耐心。我古靈精怪。我清新非凡。我精簡支援。我幸運才華。我超級了解。我非常價值。我絕頂智慧。我

 (必須看看這個字意思是好客和善待陌生人) 。我年輕金黃。我熱忱滑稽。

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Elle Randall

8/11/14

The Happiness Project Trio

Homework 1 (part 2): Dr. Tal lectures 1-4 (reaction paper)

“Perception, Application, Appreciation”

When Dr. Tal first introduces Positive Psychology to his students, he stresses the importance not just the informational part of the class, but the transformational part as well. In order to be happier, it is not enough to understand the concepts and ideologies behind this study, it is important to apply these concepts and ideologies to our everyday life. He talked about the brain being this receptacle that the information from this study goes into. But the information alone does not alter the shape of this receptacle. However, if we take this information and begin applying it to our daily lives, then this receptacle, our brain, starts to literally transform. This concept made me think of the past couple of years when I was first introduced to “The Secret” and other similar new age thought books. I understood “The Secret” was teaching, however, I could not get it to work for me, at least not consistently. It was only after I started studying Dr. Tal did I begin to understand that knowing the law of attraction and thinking about it isn’t enough, I must formulate a consistent practice that is in line with this thought.

Dr. Tal talks about shifting our perception to one that primarily focuses on the good and the positive. Now that doesn’t mean to reject the negative or pretend it doesn’t exist. But far too often, the focus is placed heavily on the illness rather than the well-being; on what ISN’T working versus what IS working.  He also talks about the magic of appreciation; “when we appreciate the good, the good appreciates.” So it’s really all about being grateful for our blessings, learning how look at failure and negative situations as positive learning experiences, and practicing and applying everything that we are learning about Positive Psychology and Happiness.

Since I’ve begun studying with Dr. Tal, I’ve begun implementing somewhat of a Happiness practice/routine for myself. From my Happiness Project, to my blog, to my daily thoughts and activities, everything I do fuels my goal of living a happier life. And Dr. Tal is right, Happiness is not just the negation of depression or sadness, not does it rely on extreme external circumstances (if you’re base level is unhappy, even winning the lottery won’t help you attain long term happiness. And vice versa, if you’re base level is happy, no tragedy can keep you unhappy for long), it is something that needs to be worked at and cultivated, day by day, thought by thought. It is simply a more mindful and active way of living. Rather than letting Life drive us, we are driving it, and steering it in a more positive and happier direction.

「認知，運用，感恩」

當Dr. Tal首先介紹積極心理學給他的學生​，他強調不只是課堂裡的知識部分重要，轉型的部分一樣重要。為了要更幸福快樂，光是理解概念和意識形態背後的研究，這是不夠的，將這些概念和思想運用到我們的日常生活中才是最重要的。他談到學習知識進入了腦子這個容器，而知識本身不會改變這個容器的形狀。但是如果我們將知識開始運用到我們的日常生活，那麼這個容器，亦即大腦才會開始轉換。這個概念讓我想起了幾年前，當我第一次接觸到「秘密」之類，各種新時代思想的書籍。我了解「秘密」教導的知識，卻無法在我身上應用得宜，至少不能持續。就在我開始學習Dr. Tal的課之後我才開始明白，「吸引力法則」了解以及思考是不夠的，必須制定一個契合這種思想路線，而且一貫性的去落實它。

Dr. Tal談到當我們的認知轉移到以專注於美好積極面為主，而這樣並不代表拒絕負面、或假裝負面不存在。但過於的頻繁，或大量的注重疾病，相較於注重幸福，怎樣才是對我們有益呢。他還談到感恩的神奇力量「當我們感謝美好，美好更升值」因此真的全都在感恩我們擁有福氣，學習當失敗及負面時，如何正向的看待，當成經驗教訓，身體力行並應用一切我們正在學習的積極心理學和幸福快樂理念。

自從我開始上Dr. Tal的課，我已經開始落實有關幸福的自我練習和例程。從我的幸福專案、部落格，每天的思路和行為，我做一切事都只為了幸福遠景的目標。Dr. Tal是對的，幸福並不是抑鬱或悲傷的相反詞，也並非完全依賴外在環境影響 (如果你屬不快樂型，就算買彩票中大獎，也不會讓你永遠快樂。反之亦然，如果你屬快樂型，沒有任何悲痛能令你長久不快樂) 這些都需要努力去培育，日復一日、一想再想。不過是以更用心和積極的方式去生活，與其讓生活駕御我們，不如我們駕御生活，駛向更積極快樂的方向。

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Pelin Randall

8/11/14

The Happiness Project Trio

Homework 1 (part 2): Dr. Tal lectures 1-4 (reaction paper - ** from Dr. Tal)

Happiness-Positive Psychology 1^st Lecture - What is Positive Psychology?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8qpn6kNfPc

** People always look at the messenger, not the message

Thank you, Dr. Tal reminded me about it, so now an amazing messenger is here, she is Elle! At least she is taller than I am.

** “Over promising and under-delivering”

“Secret” is great, I learn a lot of positive sense from the “Secret”. But Dr. Tal was also concerned, there is a very big “but” inside the “Secret”, it is “Over promising and under-delivering”.

** “Create a bridge between Ivory Tower and Main Street” from the academic and applied it.

But still have many of us feel difficulty to go through all lectures. One of my very big goal is “How to create a bridge between Main Street and Supermarket, even between Main Street and Flea Market?”

** Time-Ins is time to look inside, a time of silence.

Silence gives us a chance to reflect on what we have said and heard. Time-ins can train us more prudent, do not say or do things that you might later regret.

** “Information is taking all knowledge and putting it inside to our mind, transformation is change our mind to interpretation, to perception and to focus. Same objective information but very different interpretation, one is disaster, leads to losing our energy; the other one is an opportunity, leads to increasing our energy.”

Thank you Dr. Tal to let us know that when we are receiving a bad news, we can cool down and transformed it, from disaster transform to an opportunity.

** People who have everything more appreciate it and enjoy life. Then, people who have very little and who see themselves as victim. Happiness is contingent on our state of mind than our status of the state of our bank account.

More grateful what we have, more appreciate what we state.

** Chip away the excess stone, after that, there was “David”

Read this story, Michelangelo create the most amazing masterpiece, “David”. How? He saw a piece of marble.  And in it, he saw David, all he needed to do was to chip away the excess stone, after that, there was “David”.

It's about getting rid of limitation, of barriers, whether it's the fear of failure. After we applied to our life, we found out chip away or remove out our bad ritual is not easy.  It is not just think and say, our old ritual will automatically become to a new and good ritual. It won’t! unless we really do for it.

** Simplify!  "Soul grows more by subtraction than by addition"  “Less rather than More” “Quantity effect Quality”.

This class reminded us what is inside you, the David that is inside you. Who know themselves, who study themselves, who are self–reflective. I think to know yourself more earlier is most important than any other things. We expect be happier and wellbeing, learn those wisdoms before we step out.  

** "In pursuit of knowledge every day, something is acquired, in pursuit of wisdom, everyday something is dropped" knowledge is about information; wisdom is about transformation. In pursuit of wisdom, every day something is dropped. Ourselves nature what we encounter, there is part of Universal nature.

I spent a lot of time to understand it.  If we are making an excuse said we are too busy,  we have not enough time to study ourselves, then the result should be “we are always stay at the busy and not enough state” that is what we want. Create more time to discover our own wisdom; our wisdom is coming from the universal nature.

** “Common sense is not that common” especially applies to application, so should make Common sense more common. External refers to information; internal refers to the transformation.

Thank you Dr. Tal, I understand it. Common sense is just like the children on the bus. They are actually there but we ignore them. Most of us very often to focus on something that we didn’t have, but forget to reflect how much that we have.

** Question create reality; question makes it different

The biggest mistake is not asking the right question, then the wrong question will bring us to the wrong place, even the answer is right, it’s no matter and it’s no use. Same as Dr. Tal’s hopes, I hope in our Trio group can bring up many more questions marks than periods.

** "belief in self-fulfilling prophecies", always asked questions, curiosity, life-long learner, always wanting to understand the world the more.  Those things can help us to be the extraordinarily successful, not just successful.

I learned this word "belief in self-fulfilling prophecies" mean is we committed and responds whatever we said, and then once we said it, we should complete it.

** How can I take these ideas and apply them to my life? We can't determine whether or not “I am happy”, only “How can I become happier?” Affect and Cognition is not enough; Behavior has to be there as well.

Action, without action then all affect and cognition will be useless.

** Dr. Tal’s 23 lectures, they are connected to every class throughout the semester around spiral.

I start to write my first report, then read again and reinforced it with my experience. Like an upward spiral, to build my life be happier. 

第1堂課－什麼是正向心理學?

人們重視「傳送訊息的人」而非「訊息」本身

謝謝Dr. Tal提醒我這件事，所以現在更棒的傳送訊息者是Elle！至少她比我高。

「眼高手低不切實際」

「秘密」很棒，因「秘密」我學到很多積極概念。但Dr. Tal強調有個非常大的「但是 (不足) 」在「秘密」裡面，就是「眼高手低不切實際」 (過於鼓勵我們擁有很大的抱負，卻不夠很實質的教導我們如何達成) 。

「建造了一座橋樑，銜接象牙塔和主要大道」不夠通俗的學術應用到現實世界

但還是有很多人覺得很困難去讀完所有的課。我有一個非常大的目標是「如何創建主要大道和超級市場之間的橋樑，甚至銜接主要大道直通跳蚤市場？」

內省是回顧自己的時間，字面意義是沈靜

沉默使我們有機會反思我們所說和所聽的，內省可以訓練我們更謹慎，不說或不做可能會後悔的事情。

訊息是接收所有的知識到我們的思維裡，轉換是改變我們的心態去解讀，感知和專注。同樣客觀信息有非常不同的詮釋，一種是災難導致失去我們的能量；另一種是機會累積越來越多的能量。

謝謝Dr. Tal讓我們學到，當我們收到壞消息，可以冷靜下來轉換它，從災難轉變為機會。

有人感恩所擁有的並享受人生、有人抱怨不足並自認為生不如人。幸福大體上取決於我們的知足狀態，而不是取決於我們的銀行存款狀態。

更感恩我們所擁有的，更增值我們的現狀。

鑿掉多餘的石頭，接著「大衛」就出現

故事，米開朗基羅的曠世巨作「大衛雕像」，他敘述當他去礦場見到一塊大理石時，他看到「大衛」就在大理石裡面，所以他只需要鑿掉多餘的石頭，接著「大衛」就出現了。

即使「說的比做的容易」，但這故事教導我們擺脫限制、障礙、及對失敗的恐懼。我們一旦運用到生活中，才發現鑿掉多餘或移除壞習慣是很難的。不是心裡想改、或說出口要改，老習慣就自動會成為一個新的好習慣。絕不會的！除非真的去做。

精簡化！「減法比加法更助於靈魂的成長」「少而優比多而雜更好」「重質不要重量」

這堂課提醒我們，什麼是內心的你、你內心那個大衛。認識自己、了解自己、自我反思。我想早一些了解自己，比什麼都重要。我們期待快樂幸福，在跨步向前之前，趕快學習這些智慧。

老子說「為學日增、為道日減」。學，指的是知識；道，指的是智慧。「致力去追求智慧、一天天的繁瑣也就放下了」。我們的智慧天性原就源於宇宙而來的。

我花了很多時間去了解它。如果我們藉口說太忙了，沒有足夠時間來了解自己，那麼結果應該是「我們會一直停留在庸碌而不足的狀態」也就是我們想要的結果。創造更多時間來探索自己的智慧，我們的智慧是自然天成的。

常識！常常卻不那麼通俗，特別是運用於日常中，所以應該讓常識變得更通常。外在指的是訊息、內在其實是改造。

謝謝Dr. Tal我明白常識就像在公車上的孩子，他們實際存在但我們忽略了。我們經常專注在沒有的，卻忘了反思我們擁有多少。

問題創造現實；問題製造不同
最大錯誤是沒有提出正確的問題，那麼錯誤的問題會將我們帶到錯誤的地方；即使答案是正確的也沒有用、無濟於事的。和Dr. Tao的希望一樣，我也希望在我們的功課小組裡，能帶出問號比句號更多。

「相信自己說到做到」不斷提出問題、極端好奇、終身學習者、總想了解世界多一點。這些特質造成了特別成功人士和成功人士的不同。

我學了這個詞「相信自己說到做到」意思是無論我們答應什麼，都要盡力做到；一旦說到，就應該完成。

如何將所學的訊息運用到日常生活？我們無法界定「快樂」的統一標準，只能問是否「更快樂」？感悟與認知是不夠的，必須奮起而實行。

行動，不採取行動，所有的情感認知都是沒用的。

Dr. Tal整個學期的課程，將以螺旋環繞似的一一連結往上提昇。

我開始寫我的第一份報告，然後再讀一次並加註我的經驗。像螺旋式的上升藉以建立我的人生更為美好。

Happiness-2^nd Lecture - Why we need to learn?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IGGKXijqx0

** Who is this class for? For anyone who's extremely happy and wants to be happier, and anyone who's not happy and wants to be happier. Important is effort in terms of applying these positive ideas to our lives. Not everything will be right fit for us! 

Gratitude, yoga, journaling, sutra writing…are my choices now and they are great for me. I love to focus on those practices, they make me from happy become to more happier. Kindness is my next goal, help anyone who is not happy and wants to be happier.

** What if you had a person who 21 hours a day was depressed, and 1 hour in a day felt good? or 1 day feeling good and then 21 days feeling anxious and depressed. You would say that this person would need help.

How to increase our happier level become to “1 hour a day maybe just a little be depressed, and 21 hours in a day feel so good”. That is what Dr. Tal’s wish as well as my wish. 

** How can we even think about studying happiness, well-being, love and joy? Instead of real pressing problem of depression, anxiety, neurosis and so on? We do need to also focus on the positive.

Focus on our homework, because what work or what we focus on rather creates reality.

** Happiness is not just the negation of unhappiness. It doesn't mean just get rid of depression or anxiety that I am experiencing I spontaneously become happy. That's not the case, not how it works.

This is a brand new sense for me! We always tell ourselves, I will be happy forever while I reach something. Then now I learn from Dr. Tal, an unhappy person will not be satisfying any happy or lucky things come to him or her. At least that happy feeling will not be stay for a long time.  

** Prevention is very important, the most effective way of preventing hardship, is actually by focusing on and cultivating the positive.

Let’s focus on and cultivating POSITIVE ONLY! To set up our goal during this month, let’s see how to move out hardship and negative.

** Have faith and sense of meaning in life. Doing something that they really believed in. To be Idealistic is to be realistic, it's important that resilience is associated with well being. 

I love these words! When we help others, we are helping ourselves. When we help ourselves, we help others and so and so on. There is an upward spiral between self-help and other-help. It’s Win-Win result, let’s keep going our Happier homework.

** "What am I good at?" Focus on strength rather than primarily deficiencies. Set goal, future-oriented, not just thinking about how bad things are today.

I suggested our next goal plan! To write a report for describe our strength and our goal. Perhaps such as "This is where I want to be one month from now"

** When I asked a certain question, and that question directed you to a certain part of reality. Focus is a good thing, however we also need to know the consequences of this ability to focus that is not always helpful.

How many kids were visible on the bus? This exercise is my favorite one, total have five kids visible on the bus. I recommend everybody should be watching it. We mostly ask ourselves "what are my weaknesses?" If this is the only question we asked, then that is the only thing we will see. Just like, there were no children on the bus even though they were right there in front of your very eyes and staring at you. Very often to the exclusion of "what am I good at?" Good thing will not exist in the answer. If we only focus on weaknesses, we will not see and does not appreciate our strength or passions.

** The right question is important! If you only ask negative question, then you are ignoring the positive question.

Let us focus from deficiencies to focusing on strength, focus from wrong question to right question! Let us ignore negative question, do not ignore positive question. We need to understand the question, the video of Homer Simpson remind us! Everybody should see it.

** Appreciate had two meaning, one is to say thank you for something, not to take for granted. The other is to grow; money appreciates in the bank. When we appreciate the good, the good appreciates; means the good grows.

I learned this Win-Win sense from Dr. Tal and grateful.  Our Gratitude Jar, Discovery Committee… all came from this great sense “Appreciate”.

** The important of experiencing the pain of giving ourselves called “The

permission to be human”. Action will increase our level of confidence. And then more hope and optimism is a result. If want to cultivate high self-esteem and create confidence, then take responsibility. 

The permission to be human brought me to a higher happy level.  I changed my action from my mind say “no” but my mouth responses “yes”. Now I can very easy to use the same schema to say and to think the same word, no matter it’s yes or no. 

** No one is coming who will take you to the happily-after land. No one is coming to make your life better for you. You are responsible for your life, for your self-confidence, for your self-esteem, for your happiness.

In Chinese we said “The teacher can bring you into the door, but after this door, everything is up to you” Thank you Dr. Tal brings me into the door, I will work more hard to go for my own happiness.

** Why Dr. Tal wants to create these 23 lectures for us?

There is a touching story we should watch it and learn his spirit. If we set up a goal to help people and earth, at the same time, we announce this goal to universe. A kind of miracle will come around us. I believe it! 

第2堂課－為何要學習正向心理學？

快樂課程是為何種人而設？任何人已經快樂，希望再快樂一點；或任何人不快樂，而希望能快樂一點。最重要的是努力將正向想法或方法融入你的生活裡，並不一定每一個方法皆適合每一個人。

感恩、瑜伽、日記、抄經...我都正在做也非常適合我。我喜歡專注做這些，他們讓我從快樂變得更快樂。仁慈是我的下一個目標，幫助任何人現在不快樂想快樂點。

想想看如果有人一天裡21個小時是抑鬱的，只有1個小時是好情緒的；或是只有1天覺得還好，另外21天是焦慮和抑鬱。你一定會說這個人需要求醫救助了！

如何提升我們的幸福水平成為「一天也許只是1小時鬱悶和21小時感覺很好」這就是Dr. Tal和我的願望。

我們怎樣才能多想如何學習快樂，幸福，愛和喜悅？而不是研究擺脫抑鬱症、焦慮症、神經官能症等問題？我們需要更著眼於積極正向。

專注於做功課，因為做什麼或專心什麼比較能創造現實。

快樂幸福並不是不快樂幸福的相反詞，不代表剛剛擺脫掉抑鬱或焦慮，即可自動地變成快樂幸福，並不是這樣形成的。

對我來說很新穎的說法！我們總是告訴自己，當我達到了就會永遠快樂。現在跟Dr. Tal學的，一個不快樂的人，就算得到任何快樂或幸運的東西，也滿足不了他或她的快樂，至少快樂的感覺不會停留太長。

預防是非常重要，防患困難最有效的方法，其實就是通過專注去培育積極正向。

讓我們只專注於培養正向！成立本月的目標，讓我們來看看如何走出困境和負面。

活在自信感中，做篤定堅信的事「實事求是」去達成理想，重點在於「適應力」緊緊的繫牽著快樂幸福。

我喜歡這句話！當我們幫助別人，我們也正在幫助我們自己。當我們幫助自己，我們也幫助別人等等。自救他救，互助之間的良性循環，這是雙贏的結果，讓我們繼續我們的快樂功課。

「我擅長什麼？」專注於優點，強過於注重缺點。設定目標、面對未來，而不是只去想著「今天有多糟糕」。

我提議我們下一個目標計劃！寫份報告說明我們的優勢和目標。也許像「…這是我想在一個月內成就出來的」

當我問一個特定的問題時，這個問題會引領你到現實的某一定點。專注是好，但我們還得知道，這種專注能力的後果，並不全然是有益的。

公車上有多少孩子？我最喜歡的項目，共有五個孩子在公車上，我建議每個人都應該看這段。我們愛問自己「弱點是什麼？」如果只問這唯一問題，我們也只能看到弱點方面而已。就像沒有孩子在公車上一樣，即使他們正在你眼前並盯著你。很多時候，若排除「我擅長什麼？」優點也就不會出現在答案裡。只在意弱點的人，他們看不到也不會欣賞自己的優點或熱情。

問對的問題非常重要，如果只問負面問題，同時也就忽略正向的問題了。

讓我們從在意不足集中到專注實力，從錯的問題集中到專注正確問題！別在意負面問題，切不可輕忽正面問題。辛普森的視頻提醒我們需要了解問題的本身！每個人都應該看它。

「Appreciate感謝」有兩個含義，一個是感恩擁有，而不是想當然耳。另一個是增值，就像錢存入銀行會升值。當我們感恩好的事物時，更好的事物會吸引更多令我們感恩的事物前來。

從Dr. Tal的課裡我學會雙贏和感激的概念。感恩瓶，發掘委員會...都是從這很棒的概念增值而來。

經歷痛苦是重要的體驗稱之為「准許自己人性化」行動能夠加強自信心，然後更多的希望和樂觀是最終的結果！想要培養崇高自尊和增進自信，唯有扛起責任。

「准許自己人性化」把我帶到了更高的幸福水平。我改變了心口不一的行為 (意念說「不」嘴裡回「是」) 。現在我可以很容易的使用相同模式，說和想一樣，無論是肯定還是否定。

「絕對沒有人能帶你到幸福園地！來讓你的人生更美滿！你要自己來負責你的人生、自信心，自尊和幸福」 。

中文諺語「師父帶進門，修行看個人」謝謝Dr. Tal帶我進了門，我會更加努力追求幸福。

為什麼Dr. Tal為我們創了這23堂課？
一個感人的故事，應該上網看這堂課並學習他的精神，如果我們設了目標，幫助人們與地球，同時，我們也對宇宙宣布。奇蹟就會來，我相信！

Happiness-3^rd Lecture -Is a random/stochastic phenomenon?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sEyWefn0Cs

** Getting rid of the negative doesn't guarantee us the positive.

There are certain ways to thinking about, one is "How to get rid of depression?" and another one is "How do I pursue my strength?" which way we want to go? Here is so many more tools that we can apply to our lives, make us to go beyond the zero.

** How can we get beyond that comfortably numb? How can we get beyond that quiet desperation? To joy, to happiness, they don't spontaneously emerge one the painful experiences go away.

Yes. Even painful, depression, anxiety…those negative experiences are disappear, after that, do you think your happiness will spontaneously to show out? 

** "The ultimate currency" just as the currency of happiness and well being.

The ultimate currency became to my motto. To describe how much I want to change, change from happy to be happier. From change myself to the people I love.

** "You are unwell, deal with that illness" and "You unwell, then focus your health” “strengthen your health, because you are not focusing enough on your health" they are different.

A right point! You want to deal with illness, doctor, medicine … or you want to deal with your health? They are different. If you want to strengthen your health then focus on your health. FOCUS ON HEALTH, Do not focus on illness.

** This is a new emerging field of the mind and the body.

1. Yoga practice diminishes significantly more than any other interventions.
2. Doing meditation actually literally transforms our brain, making us more susceptible to positive emotions, and more resilient in the face of painful emotions.
3. Three times a week physical exercise, 30 minutes each time has the same effect as our most powerful psychiatric drugs.

Dr. Tal said above 3 plus below 2, total is a happiness cocktail formula.

4. Sleep 8 hours a day.
5.  12 hug a day.

** That's practical idealism coupled together; the idealism and good intentions are not enough, need to merge with practice.

To be a practical idealist, the foundation of it has to be the belief that change is possible. Through our homework practice by weekly, our change is possible. Dr. Tal said human being has 50% come from genes, 10% come from environment, and the rest of 40% we still have chance to change.

** You need a super ordinate goal, a goal that you have carried out together, that you cannot do by yourself.

That is important to go with your heart, but it's more important to go with the heart and the mind. Reality is out there, “What's working?” and “Who's not working?” we need to confirm to it, take it into consideration, cannot ignore.

Our homework team, Dr. Elle, we need a supper ordinate goal. The GOAL needs all of us together to carry and can’t do by yourself. Please target our goal and let us know!

** People encountering one special sentence, reading or hearing it, that sentence can change their lives.

Let’s share our homework, share our certain positive or painful experiences, we expect to change, up in our level of happiness.

** Dr. Tal is saying that he is the right person teach positive psychology because he wasn't born with "happy genes". But over time, as a result of studies, asking the right question, from unhappy, he has become happier.

Lizzie was born with “happy genes”, if through from studies, ask more “right” questions, can become happier for sure!

** First idea "what works?" Second idea "what works best?" understand and realize the potential in all people. Then apply it to the other people's life, benefit to all people.

Suggest this should be our supper ordinate goal, for homework team as well as Discovery team.

第3堂課－快樂幸福是一種隨機現象嗎？

擺脫了負面的糾纏，並不保證正面會迎面而來

有一些方法可以考慮，一個是「如何擺脫抑鬱？」另一個是「如何追求自己的實力？」想要走那條路？有那麼多工具可以運用到生活裡，使我們能夠超越零界點。

如何超越安於得過且過的心境呢？如何超越無聲的屈服忍受不順呢？追求人生、追求快樂幸福，即使有了這些，也並不會同時自動消除人生苦痛。

是。甚至痛苦、抑鬱、焦慮...種種負面都消失了之後，你覺得快樂會自動而來嗎？

「終極貨幣」，就像貨幣之於快樂與幸福。

終極貨幣成了我的座右銘，來形容我是多麼想改變，從快樂到更快樂，從改變自己到改變我愛的人。

「生病，去治病」和「生病，趕快集中心力找回健康」或者「加強健康，生病是因為不夠專注於健康」兩者是不同的解讀。

正確！去治病、找醫生、吃藥品...還是專注於健康？這是不同的。如果想加強健康，就專注健康。注重健康就好，不要專注疾病。

這是個心靈和身體的新世紀領域

1. 瑜伽練習對削減負面的力量，顯著高於任何的干預措施。
2. 冥想其實能漸漸改變我們的大腦，讓我們更容易感染正面的情緒，並且在面對痛苦情緒時更堅強。
3. 每次30分鐘、每周三次的體育鍛練，與強效的提神藥物具有相同的效果。

Dr. Tal說上面3樣加下面2樣，就是幸福的雞尾酒配方。

4. 每天睡眠8小時。
5. 每天擁抱12次。

結合現實和理想主義在一起，空有理想和良好的抱負是不夠的，還需加入腳踏實地的執行。

要成為一個現實的理想主義者，它的基礎必須是相信改變是可能的。落寶每週的功課，我們可以改變。Dr. Tal說，人有50％來自基因，10％來自環境，而其餘的40％，仍然有機會改變。

你需有個超級統一目標，這目標是一個共同展望的目標，個人無法完成的。

有心是非常重要，但有心加上意念更為重要。現實明明擺在那裡，什麼可行？什麼不可為？我們需要確認、加以考慮，絕不容許去忽視它。

我們作業團隊也是，Dr. Elle，我們需要一個超級目標。這目標需要大家共同進行，不能由自己做。請設目標並讓我們知道！

人們讀到或者聽到一句箴言，這句箴言可以改變他的一生

分享我們的功課，分享一些積極或痛苦的經歷，我們期待改變，和提升幸福水平。

Dr. Tal說他最合適教積極心理學，因為他天生缺乏「快樂基因」，但長時間的讀書進修、提出正確問題，他從不快樂已經變得比較快樂。

Lizzie生俱「快樂基因」如果讀書學習，提更多正確問題，一定能變得更快樂。

第一個理念是「如何做是可行的？」第二個理念是「如何做是最好的？」理解和實現人類的潛能，然後將其應用到生活裡，或造福於世人。

建議這應該是我們的晚餐統籌的目標，家庭作業團隊，以及探索隊。

Happiness-4^th Lecture - The environment can change us

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaFHptm-ZRE

** Why is it so difficult for us to understand, accept, assimilate and live according to the fact that we can make a difference, if we understand that what we need to understand is how change happens. 

So, practice and practice… we need to be grounded in applying to our life.

** “butterfly effect” how a butterfly flapping its wings in Singapore can theoretically cause a tornado in Florida.

Someone smiles makes you smile, you smile make someone smile, and so on and so on. If you smile make three people smile, and these three people each one makes three other people smile. From you initial smile to the three people, the entire world will be smiling.

** Which direction are we going to do it? If we just have the good intentions without the effort. How difficult it is to change happiness based on external factors.

People’s evaluation of their wellbeing, in other words, is subjective levels of happiness. It’s not from outside, not from other people... Happiness is only happening from ourselves.  We are influencing people and the world every minute of our lives.

** People go back to their base level of wellbeing. In general, extreme external circumstances make very little difference to our wellbeing, as well as wealth matters or income level.

This is so right. If we have time to write or replay our “a painful experience”, we should surprise how could we survive through? within 6 months or even less than? I lost my lover 15 years ago, during that time I thought I will sadness forever but I recovered within a month. Is that means when we lost lover, at the same time, we will also detach our deep love? No, is from resilience by human nature. 

** The right versus wrong expectations is the correct answer to make a difference to our levels of wellbeing, not the lower or high expectations.

Dr. Tal said, get the good job, move to better place or find the good lover… they are not the right expectation, they are the wrong expectation, they won’t increase your levels of wellbeing. The right expectation is to believer in change from within. It’s about changing our perception, our state of mind, not on our status, or the states of our bank account. It’s about changing our interpretation of the world, what we choose to focus on and proceed. Focus on our change. The right expectation is more important than the high expectation, the high expectation if is not the right expectation will be no work.

** The permission to be human, this is the most important pillars of wellbeing and happiness. 

We got the permission to be human when we were baby, then we stop the permission to be human when we grow up. We all need a space where we give ourselves the permission to be human, to cry, to be joyous, because if we don’t, we pay a price.

** When we try to suppress a natural phenomenon, that thing just intensifies.

Dr. Tal said “Tal, don’t be nervous, no anxiety today…” and what happened? pink elephants all around! (Hahaha) … Now he said “It’s manageable, can deal with it, can handle it”.  “Not enough permission to be human”. It means we need a space, with our best friend, with our family, first and foremost, with ourselves.  It means active acceptance, understanding that certain things I cannot change and certain things I can and ought to change.

** The permission to be human relates primarily to our affect/emotion, they are there just likes the law of gravity is there.

Who does not experience envy toward other people, it’s part of human nature, nothing good or bad about the envy. That does not mean we need to accept our behavior/action and our cognitions/thoughts. 

第4堂課－環境能改變我們

為什麼難以理解、接受、吸收和生存，根據事實如果我們明白它，是可以有所作為的，需要了解的是它如何發生變化。
因此，不斷的實施和練習...我們需要紮根去應用到我們的生活裡。

「蝴蝶效應」為什麼一隻蝴蝶在新加坡振動翅膀，可以導致在佛羅里達州產生龍捲風。

從你第一個笑傳送到三個人開始，短時間笑可傳送到整個世界。

我們要從哪一個方向著手？如果我們只是有心想改變而不努力，僅憑外在因素讓你快樂是極為困難的。

富裕知足的自我評價，換句話說，是在於自己幸福水平的高低。幸福不是從外部環境，也不是別人給予...幸福是從自己做起。我們生活的每分鐘都在影響其他人和整個世界。

人們終會回到他們的快樂基本指數。一般情況下，極端變化的外在情境對我們的快樂水平影響極小，財富或收入對我們的快樂水平影響亦極小。

正確！如果我們有時間來寫或反思我們的「最痛苦的經歷」我們應該會驚訝如何走過來的呢？ 在6個月內或甚至少於6個月？15年前我失去了最愛，那個時候我想我會永遠悲傷，但我在一個月之內恢復。這是否意味著我們失去所愛的同時，也會丟下濃濃愛意？不，是因為人的適應力。

我們的快樂水平取決於正確或錯誤的期望，而不是較低或過高的期望。

Dr. Tal說，抓到好的工作、搬到更好的地方、或找到更好的伴侶... 來增高快樂水平是不正確的期望，是錯誤的期望，這些都不會增高你的快樂水平。正確的期望是在從內在去轉變，改變看法、心態、而不是身份地位、或銀行狀態；是改變對世間的理解、選擇什麼去關注和認知。專注於改變！正確期望比高期望更重要，高期望如果不正確是沒用的。

「准許自己人性化」，這是快樂幸福最重要的支柱。

嬰幼兒天性自然，而在長大後卻被阻撓天性的流露，給自己一個人性化的空間，哭泣、歡樂，如果我們不這樣做，我們必會付出代價。

當我們試圖去壓制一種自然現象，反而更加劇它。

Dr. Tal總對自己說「Tal，今天千萬別緊張、別焦慮...」結果呢？那隻粉紅色的卡通小飛象滿天飛！ (哈哈哈)... 現在他說「是可以控制的、可以對付的、可以處理的」。「人性化的不足」。這意味著我們需要一些空間作人，可能和好友、親人、最重要的是和自己；這也意味著用正向面去接受和理解，有些事情雖無法改變，但某些事情卻應該改變。

「准許自己人性化」主要涉及到我們的影響亦即情緒，情緒的存在就像地心引力一樣都是存在的。

誰沒有嫉妒心，這是人的本性之一，嫉妒就是嫉妒它無分好壞。但並不意味，我們也無力扭轉我們的行為或行動，我們的認知和想法。